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Archive for the ‘General’ Category

I think we are going to be okay. Read right until the last line. “You have no further authority here.”

Sweeter words have never been heard…..

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful commited individuals can change the world; indeed it’s the only thing that ever has.”  ~Margaret Mead

Mara ~ so true, so true

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I love doing therapeutic foster care. Even when I feel like I want to pull out my hair with three teenage boys visiting the house, I love it. Sometimes though the minutae slips away and I am angry at people and the damage they have done to their children. Angry. And I know we all have demons and some parents have lived impossible lives themselves. And I’m usually good at living in the moment, and dealing with whatever comes up. And it’s just not my job to judge. Still, sometimes I feel angry.

Children should never have legs broken by their parents, or be so severely neglected that their developmental delays may never be overcome.  And drugs and alcohol and all the following ramifications. And abuse of all types, and neglect, and pain and hurt. And an education system that treats kids like they need special ed, or a medical profession that medicates everything, in the exact same way. And the stigma of foster care. It’s really too much.

And the kids? They’re awesome. They really are. Resilient and strong and broken and amazing. Really. You should all be in awe. And humbled.  And I want to pick up the broken pieces and tape it all up until it’s good as new.  But I can’t. I’ll help though. And my house is here when foster parents need a little break, and my house is safe. It’s not much of a house, but there is food and laughter. And a Wii.

So hug your kids if you have them. And know that we are part of many families in our lives and biology isn’t everything….  It’s a huge part of who you are and where you came from but it’s not everything.

And love? It is the most amazing thing. We have an infinite capacity.

Mara ~ whose ‘kids’ are giving her more than she could ever give them.

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Short version.

bellanbone

  • My 16yr old dog died. I am sad. My child was inconsolable. Which made me more sad.  I still find myself looking at her blanket or going to get her dog food or finding some hair under the furniture. Poor Bella.  It was odd how it happened. Quick thankfully, but not really expected.  I mean she moved relatively slowly, she was thin, her eyes were cloudy.  She hadn’t eaten in a couple of days (not unusual, she’d done that her whole life), but one afternoon I found her lying in her own pee looking lethargic. I bathed her, and she never liked baths. She had enough energy to drench me from head to toe, and to snort water all over me. I dried her off and put her on her bed. I went on to cook supper, clean up after the kids and went to check on her. Her respiration rate had gone way down, she was not too responsive. On the way to the vets she was still breathing but by the time we got there she was no longer breathing, had no corneal reflex… but her heart was still beating. We stopped her heart, my child wailed, The Guy and I cried. Say hi to dad Bella. We miss you.

 

  • BFF’s 4 month old daughter is sick, and has been flown to another facility to have her bone marrow tapped. Please pray.

 

  • MIL has finally broken her silence and actually communicated with The Guy. The good news is that we know she’s alive, her finances are being looked after and she’s taking her medication. The bad news is that she refuses to take any responsibility for anything and continues to look outside of herself for someone else to blame. Head games, poor decisions continue, and I fear we may end up with further hospitalizations etc. And as for the doctor saying you can leave the hospital? That does not mean he said you SHOULD leave the hospital.

 

  • I find it quite rich that in a letter sent to me by MIL she told me to get over the death of my father and that I was setting a poor example to my child by showing her I could not cope with anything. Hmmm. I know she’s mentally ill, but it’s hard not to have feelings when people say things like that to you. Get over it. Indeed.

 

  • This whole months has been a sea of respite therapeutic foster care for teenage boys. My house is filthy. I am drained. I found myself annoyed  when I felt one of the boys was not ‘grateful’ enough for all the accomodations and thought I was providing to make his stay as comfortable as possible. I quickly slapped myself . Is this why I do this? Gratitude? Nope? So shut up then. Okay.

 

  • There’s a huge controversy about this article.  Adoptive parents are scared a negative article about adoptions form Ethiopia will negatively affect the future of adoptions. There are lines being drawn in the sand. “I had a good experience!”  “I had a bad experience!” “Adoption is good!”  “Adoption is bad!”  “The article was biased and negative!” “The article brought to public attention irregularities!”  “These families are brave!” “These families are selfish!”  I’ll save my ideas for another post.  Though I must say I really do HATE,  HATE, HATE the title “Buying Babies”. Mostly it makes me tired.

 

  • I’m planning my daughter’s 5th birthday party. How did this happen? What a cliche… The time does fly though.

Mara ~ Spring is almost here!!!

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sundaysexy11

I lurve me a little Brad Pitt. In fact Brangelina is probably the only celebrity couple I follow.  God, that makes me feel so shallow writing that….   But dude, the hotness of those two. Well it’s quite sickening actually.  Friends and I have jokingly wondered aloud if in some alternate universe we could ‘pick’ one of the two… it would be a hard decision. Yeah. I disgust myself too right now. 

So back to Brad. He was on Oprah last week and I had to watch it TWICE, because that is what a pathetic loser I am.  His stories about the kids? Heart melting here. The pictures he took of Angelina? Sigh. The answer to the question about what he would do if there was no papparazzi? Broke my heart. He wants to take down his fences, have a barbeque and wave at the cars going by.

I am so pathetic.

AND

I watched the season finale to America’s Next Top Model.

Mara ~ is there anything lower than this level to which I have sunk so quickly?

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Alive

She made it back to her condo. The police have checked on her and they say she seems okay. She does not answer the phone and has not contacted anyone. She is not paying some bills. Looks like power of attorney aquisition is imminent so maybe we’ll have a better idea what is going on then. The saga continues. We have not been able to contact her about her dog, and to let her know she died in the apartment and had to be removed, so we have no idea what she knows or if it even matters in her mental state. We don’t know if she has a job. Though with the hospitalization and basicly falling off the face of the earth I would imagine not….

Mara ~ thanking God for small gifts

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Oh the woes of junior kindergarten for my little tyke….

“Mama, why did G call me a poo poo head?  I think those are bad words and I think that is making a poor choice. ”

She pauses for a minute then asks,

“Mama will Madame P give him a maturmal comsemquence (natural consequence)?”

Mara ~ my words are being reflected back to me…. though obviously not completely understood 🙂

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Dear neighbour gentleman,

Please be assured that when The Guy passed your truck on the highway it was not a personal affront. No offense was intended and we are very sorry. And please be advised it is not okay to pull your vehicle into our driveway in a fit of pique to yell about aforementioned Guy’s unforgivable driver error. It is especially not okay to ever physically accost anyone. Also? It is totally not cool to scream IN FRONT OF A TERRIFIED FOUR YEAR OLD. Ever. And didn’t your mother ever teach you that it is not polite to point? As was mentioned, The Guy would be happy to talk to you about your concerns in private re: his irresponsible driving. And when someone asks you to stop yelling in front of a child who has NEVER been exposed to such barbaric behaviour, please respect the request and dissist from continuing your tirade. Your loud, obnoxious tirade. Also? After you repeatedly ignore very respectful requests to lower your voice and to STEP OFF, please realize that it comes to the point where we feel a bit threatened and we have no choice other than to mention the police.  Please leave our property when we respectfully (without raising voices even!) ask or we feel we must protect ourselves and call the police to have you removed.

Also? Please look out for advertisements for assistance in dealing with road rage issues. I feel they may be of great benefit to you. And taking a deep breath and counting to ten can avoid much neighbourhood discord and awkwardness.  Please also remember that kindness is often a better choice as you just never know what battles we could be fighting inside. Would you have acted the same way if you knew that the Guy’s mom was missing and we had just found out? Would you have terrified my daughter if you knew your actions would result in days of anxious questions from a sensitive little girl? Questions like why did that man yell? I do NOT like that man! Where does that man live? Is that angry man coming here again? How do you suggest I comfort her? And please realize that I wanted to shield her from the harsh realities of the world a little longer, because her life has not always been all sunshine and roses and she feels loss deeply.  And she has suffered great loss.  And all the work I do to try to make her feel safe and loved and cherished can all too easily slip away when she sees the scary stuff that can happen outside her door. And I couldn’t even protect her from the scary stuff that lives across the street.

And I understand that substance abuse issues can cause erratic behaviour and can lead to unpleasantness. And alcoholism is a cruel and vicious disease. And for that I am truly sorry. See? We all have personal demons, and I think we could all use some grace.  I just don’t want those demons around my child or on my property ever again.

Thank you.

Respectfully,

Your country neighbour

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