Archive for January, 2009

Alive! Yes I am! Thanks.

Where the fuck did December go? Dude. Awash with chocolate (6K truffles..  God I hate chocolate!) Drowning in exploding commercial 5K pasta machines….  Sooty from a wood fired brick oven… Awash in catering and cooking and orders and how I just am now HATING Christmas. Bah and Humbug! Not to mention the drowning in the CRAY-zee that has become my experience with therapeutic foster care ( a different teenage boy in my house every weekend or for a couple of weeks at a time). Good, but Cray-zee and unsettling and heartbreaking and hilarious and annoying and fun. So you can see the schizophrenic tone my life has had these last few weeks.

In other news,

  • BFF had baby #3, she is awesome!(Both mom and baby). I was lucky to be there for this birth too. It’s all such an amazing, intense miracle. And totally reaffirming that I have TOTALLY made the right decision to NEVER EVER do that. Thank you very much!
  • I’m secretly jealous about BFF having 3 (THREE!) kids, and my own stalled version of #2 still not even on the way here.
  • I can’t bring myself to clean the DISASTER that has become of my work kitchen, and like almost everything else, the longer you leave it the worse it gets.
  • Speaking of which, something I have left for 2 years is biting my ass and I can’t bring myself to deal with it, and leaving it is going to leave some not so nice consequences…. what is WRONG with me?
  • The MIL situation is still up in the air. Mental illness is a bitch and unresolved stuff is just really difficult. SIGH. BIG BIG SIGH.
  • Mom had a stroke, then went to Poland for three months. What is WRONG with her 80 yr old self?
  • The holidays, aside from cray-zee-ness, was THE BOMB. Seriously. My kid is amazing. We were unpacking Christmas decoration (on the 23rd, I am not even kidding!) and I have a picture of my dad from a few Christmases ago, where he looks old, sick and pained, but still the guy I loved my whole life… and we put it up beside a birchtree candle and I light the candle and it’s way for me to remember. On evening at supper time Squirt says in a wistful voice that only a 4yr old can muster “I wish Grandpa was here.”  I responded that I did too. Her head whipped around and she looked me in the eye. “Don’t cry mama, he’s happy now you know.” Okay then. Insert wry smile. God I love her!
  • the Wii is awesome, and MarioKart? Too. much. fun!

I hope everyone is doing well. I have over 500 items in my bloglines…. I’ll be making the rounds.

Mara ~ bad bad blogger


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